| New Beginnings |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|05:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Want More- Faithless | ] |
Hooray i have a new job and it is a great one!!! Am most pleased. |
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| Kate Bush |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|06:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kate Bush-Aerials | ] |
WOW the new album is that good!!! I would put it top five albums of the last five years. It is just very very beautiful. Love it. |
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| I have wonderful legs |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|01:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Wearing shorts again | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Electroclash Berlin is Burning, Miss Kittin | ] |
So enough of msn already, arent people sick of the way it drops out all the friggin time? Go to google and get Skype, it is such a cool programme and you can use it like a free phone as well as sending messages on it. Oh fuck this sounds like i am advertising for it. I guess i am. Only cos it is cool and free, i am the cheapest person in the cosmos. |
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| Stage presence, delivery etc |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|02:45 pm] |
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Reliving last nights stand up effort at the Hyde Park, i have decided not to be so harsh on myself. True, there were bits i was less than happy with, but for something so hastily thrown together, i had some good lines. The nan and grandad dying? And me covered in crumbs? Excellent stuff. Your dads probably just piss on your faces, again lovely stuff. It had a strong start in general, then pettered off toward the end when i realised that the story was not really going anywhere. I think for any other comic to have performed that last night, they would have been fairly happy. For me, however, a dedicated perfectionist, it left a lot to be desired. Overall 4.3/10 |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|05:29 pm] |
Squeeky the squeegy is hot to trot,
He has all manor of things.
He goes shopping for small white dots,
to cover up his small white mistakes
so that his small white wife
does not get annoyed
and divorce him.
Why fall in love?
Why fall off walls?
Why fall into ice rivers?
Because it is more than fun. |
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| More poetry |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|05:27 pm] |
When someone smiles at a tree,
A child cries in Germany.
When someone sings to a mouse,
Investors buy a brand new house.
When people laugh at a ninja,
brown haired people go instant ginger.
When tasty toast falls on the floor,
Elton John plays ten minutes more.
When soldiers play pictionary,
I look up 'splodge' in the dictionary.
When God has skittles for dinner,
Kate Moss wishes she were thinner. |
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| Ahhhh poetry |
[Oct. 18th, 2005|05:24 pm] |
Cups can be made of plastic or glass,
Plates are much the same.
But when you have a cloudy day,
it can indicate rain. |
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| Amazing foodstuffs |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|03:57 pm] |
WOW!!!! have just been blown away by the amazing Mrs Mac. Not only did she pioneer (pie in ear?) the cheese chilli and beef pie phenom, she has now released a pizza pie. And it is good!!!!! Keep up the fantastic work Mrs Mac, dont let Mr Mac get you down. Your pies and sausage rolls are amazing. |
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| We are bloody lucky |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|02:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tummy troubles | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TV on the Radio | ] |
I dont know what i wanna say other than Perth is blessed with some amazingly good comedians at the mo.
True there are a lot of absolute gash merchants out there, but the new breed of Perth comedians is amazing. Very clever, surreal, always willing to try new stuff, regardless of audience. Xavier Michelides, Josh Makinda, James Eaton, Mike Goldstein, Stu Packham, Ethan Marrell, Andrew Horabin, James De Leo, Keiran Eaton, Claire Hooper, Andrea Gibb and of course the dynamic Ollie Raison (that may be me) are all doing some amazing work at the moment. They need your support, else they will fuck off to the eastern states to become institutionalized dull and safe comics. Eastern states is sooo lame, it churns out clone comedians, clones of shite no less. I am proud of Perth comedians, continually producing great work to an unenthusiastic perth audience. Ahhh well it took a while for people to notice our bands, and everyone knows how good they are. Perth is such a fucking cool place, amazing talent pool for such an isolated place, and thankfully that isolation means our influences are very diverse, we dont have to answer to anyone really. Keep supporting Perth culture, if you havent been to comedy go and see any of the acts mentioned above. If you agree please let us know!!! Wow what a fucking sucky post, I love it!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2005|03:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  have starburst | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Of Montreal........ | ] |
My chest hurts and i am sick like a sad puppy. I hate coughing all the time. But now i have starburst, so things are ok ish now. * N.B* THIS IS THE WORLDS MOST BORING POST. |
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| so yeah, you know, like totally. |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|02:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  fingers, toes? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Oliver Raisons HITS '05 | ] |
The truth is, that if i wasnt wearing my pyjamas right now, id be nude. Well not totally, i do have my swatch on, my elvis ring and my two rubber band things that people buy to support charites, cept i just picked mine up off the floor. And one of them is red and says ' Australian Red Cross' and then you turn it round and it says 'Humanity'. The other one is white and says 'make poverty history' which i read as saying, make poverty history, as in be the poorest person ever and have no shoes and dont eat for a week, and if you do eat, make sure you dont enjoy it. So i am trying to make poverty history, maybe i can get in the guiness book of records. That'd be greater than muscles on a whelk. Saturday night, where was Ollie? IN BED BY TEN no less!!! Wow he didnt even stay up to watch Man United!!! And he didnt go to amps!!! So to all the bastards who called and smsed throughout the night, that is where i was, thankyou for repeatedly waking me. Anyway, am doing more comedy this friday night at lazy susans, so please come down, last week was amazingly great fun, and i reckon this week will be too. Anyway, enough of wearing these pyjamas, i am a slave no longer, the 'man' cant keep me in his bondage attire for ever. If you water your taste buds you will get taste flowers, which will attract birds and bees to your mouth, creating an interesting talking point amongst friends. Mwah mwahmwah, hope to see some of you wed at the scotsman. Archieyap |
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| bill |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|05:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frogspawn | ] |
| [ | music |
| | telefon tel aviv | ] |
BIll had lay awake all night. Just an open pair of eyes staring at the ceiling, drawing shapes on the cornices with the aid of the moonlight. Next to him him lay his wife, his former love, now just acting as a warm blob he could put his feet on. Her big body causing the sheets to look like mountainous terrains in the half light. Bill could see little men climbing the sheer faces, setting up camps in the shadowy valleys and base jumping from the tops of her boobs. To their death no doubt, she was a big girl.
Oh crap have to go out, will finish this later. I have brand new eyeballs, got em from JB hifi. Pretty good value for sony ripoffs. |
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| Welcome Return |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|01:50 pm] |
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The worlds foremost love expert, Robbie Toes, is back tonight at lazy susans comedy den, above the brisbane hotel in highgate. Come along will be mega mega fun. |
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| lazy bones |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|02:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  yawwwwn | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cant be arsed turning stereo on | ] |
I cant believe how lazy i am sometimes. For example i have been wanting to go to the toilet (for plop plops) for about eight hours, and i just havent bothered. It is about five metres away, but i cant be arsed putting on trousers and opening my bedroom door. So now i have much weight in the pit of my stomach. My own fault really... I have even got really good at holding my breath cos then i dont have to breathe as much. Like i said, lazy. If i was a girl i would probably wait til the night before my baby was due to get pregnant... Mwah |
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| Anger toward hair. |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|01:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  colonic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | dubnobasswithmyheadman | ] |
I hate it when there is a hair or a few hairs trapped in your keyboard, so you stop typing to fish it out with your special long hair retrieval fingernail, only to find that when you look back at the screen, you have inadvertantly typed the letter 'r' one thousand times. And i hate it when you are enojying something delightfully tasty, but you can feel a hair starting to slide down your throat, so you start doing that 'rub tongue on back of throat thing' and end up looking like a crow about to regurgitate for its young. Hair is horrid stuff once it leaves the head. Millions of them everywhere, dead pieces of people just lying around in long thin strands. Ewww its horrible. My rule book says get your haircut once every six months. Do not contribute to the hair plague by popping in to have 'the ends trimmed'. Do not pick at your split ends. Do not pull out a hair, wrap it around your index finger and use it to gently tickle your nose whilst you suck your thumb. Leave hair attached to the head please!!!
The most harmful thing to have hit western society in the last 20 years is the Brazilian wax. Removal of all your pubic hairs. Leave them in! They are harder to break down than head hairs. Most of you know what it is like to have one jammed in between your teeth, i little bit of person wire stabbing into your delicate tongue. Let it grow, harness the pheromones, embrace the forest. You wouldnt cut down a tree in a rain forest would you? So why chop down your 'trees' in your own forest? Do you even think about the pubic louse that has chained himself to the base of each hair? Its an ecosystem, leave it be. Just leave it be.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2005|12:04 pm] |
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My birthday tomorrow. My party sat night. Call me if you need details. You have my number. Arch |
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| Hello. this is Archie Yap |
[Jul. 1st, 2005|09:32 pm] |
hello. my name is archie yap. yes, that really is my name. and it is good to be having good times with you my friends. now let me say something to you my sweet nubile little piglets.
i am going out on a limb here. that was all i wanted to say.
actually no, there was something else as well.
I am ABSOLUTELY SICK AND FRIGGING TIRED of these lazy livejournal bloggers who can be arsed updating their own livejournals, probably cos theyre too busy shagging, (sarcastic scoff) so they get their mates to GHOSTWRITE their blog entries for them. GHOSTBLOGGING is a pet peeve of mine. i hate it. i think its dishonest and ecil and wrong and goes against everything that ivejournal blogging whould be about.
livejournal is about having an intimate and truthful relationship with your readers. and when people GHOSTBLOG they are taking the fragile trust that has been invested in them, and they are pissing on it and grinding it into the ground like a freshly seduced guinea pig. to these people I say, away with you, you fiendish shitbags, away to hell where your friend the goatlord no doubt awaits all GHOSTBLOGGERS, child killers and others.
I, Monicker Yap, give you my honest and binding word that I would never try to carry out such an awful deception on you my dear readers. I would never ask one of my mates who is a more dilligent blogger than I and is currently sitting at my computer typing this for me as I am downstairs ordering beers at the brisbane hotel, to write my blog for me. that would just be crap and not on and I know you expexct better from me. Cheers, Archie whatshisname. |
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